dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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