What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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