I think I won the penis lottery.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize