I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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