God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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