Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
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You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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