i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
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