My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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