That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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