after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize