Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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