some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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