its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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