I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize