this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize