So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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