whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize