god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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