this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I can't put those talents on a resume
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize