I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
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