We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
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Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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