Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize