The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize