I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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