I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
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I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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