There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
she smelled like a LAN party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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