My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
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she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
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How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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