how hairy? two words: wookie tits
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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