No stitches, just platelets and will power
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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