thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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