I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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