i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have started to decorate penises.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize