You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
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