sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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