i always forget guys have bellybuttons
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize