Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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