Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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