why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
third nipple confirmed
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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