i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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