Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
my sisters under your porch take her home
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
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stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
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i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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