There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize