I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize