You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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