Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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