Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
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It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
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Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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