Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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