just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize