I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize