How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
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