just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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